Girlfriends

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Where would we be without good girlfriends? They make us laugh, they are our shoulders to cry on and they know when we need our space. Good girlfriends also tell us the truth when we need to hear it. Not to hurt us with it, but to help us see things the way we often need to.

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Our friends are not perfect and neither are we. But ever so often we need to do the duty of telling our friends things about themselves that they may not necessarily want to hear. This is truly the sign of a good girlfriend. Here’s all the things you should be able to tell your best gal pal without any bad blood.

1. We are not in a competition.

Healthy competition between friends can be a good thing. Our friends can motivate us in our professional lives, can provide good example in our personal lives, and can all-round inspire us to become better versions of our selves. Birds of a feather flock together after all, so surround yourself with people who are going places!

However, sometimes when a friend might be feeling insecure, the competitiveness can turn into something sour. The key here is to tell them the truth: That you’re feeling uncomfortable with how competitive they’ve become, and if there’s a reason for it, and how you can help. It’s not an easy conversation, but it beats passive-aggression or eventually snapping at them if you hold it in.

2. You’re lashing out.

A friend in need is a friend indeed, as the saying goes. Whenever a good friend is in pain, that’s when they need you the most. We often take out our pains in the form of anger at the wrong people – often people we love who are just trying to help. Most times all your girlfriend needs is a shoulder to cry on and let it all out. Think, Waiting to Exhale style.

3. Chill out girl.

This is a very tricky one because you don’t want your friend to be in the middle of venting to you, and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is, “calm down” or “relax.” That is a sure-fire way for her to become anything but. However, if you’re noticing a pattern where your friend is becoming more stressed or more intense over very insignificant things, it’s important to be a calming presence in their life and maybe tell them to breathe it out. To drive the point home, maybe even suggest that the two of you take a yoga class. (LOL. But seriously yoga helps.)

4. The way your boo is taking over your life isn’t good.

Nobody likes to do this. Nobody wants to do this. And nobody wants to be the friend that has to the difficult thing of telling their friend that they don’t recognize them anymore because of a significant other. The truth is people are going to do what they want to do at the end of the day. But knowing that, the best thing  to ask yourself is, “Would I want my friend to tell me if I was losing myself in a relationship?” Most of us would say yes to that. And once you’ve done it, let it be done. What they choose to do after is all on them.

5. Girl, when are you going to learn your lesson?!

I think life does this thing where it keeps teaching you the same lesson until you finally learn it. It’s amazing how many of us repeat the same mistakes. But we’re human; it happens. It’s a lot easier to see it in others than in ourselves. And when we see a beloved girlfriend making the same mistake over and over, we have to tell them what we see. Maybe it’s something they don’t see or understand. Even if she won’t thank us in the moment, she’ll thank us later.

But remember when it comes to truth-telling between friends, don’t dish it if you can’t take it!

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