Republican Presidential Candidates Hold Third Debate In Colorado

Source: Justin Sullivan / Getty

I reluctantly watched the third Republican debate last night. I have low tolerance for all of the nonsense that comes out of the candidates’ mouths for the sake of boosting their poll ratings and setting the blogs on fire in the hours and days following the event.

It is still beyond me that the two Republican candidates leading in the polls are: one, a bigoted real estate developer that’s more famous for his hurtful and outlandish remarks than his concrete plans to take care of the American people and two, a doctor who thinks that feminists are to blame for Michael Brown’s death. But hey, the people want what they want, right?

Clearly, I’m not immune to these candidates’ charms and their propaganda as I’m sitting here writing this post. But I wouldn’t be the responsible journalist I am if I didn’t make sure to clue my beauties in on the ignorance that’s floating around amid the election now that 2015 is quickly coming to an end and the frenzy of the 2016 presidential rat race is right around the corner.

In case you didn’t watch or were only half-paying attention these were the most uncomfortable moments  from last night’s debate:

1) Carly Fiorina Came For Hillary Clinton

Fiorina really likes to highlight the fact that she’s a woman when it’s most convenient to her. In her closing remarks, the multimillionaire and former CEO of Hewlett Packard pointed out that she was “Hillary Clinton’s worst nightmare” and that she would “beat” Clinton in the race. I understand that Fiorina was trying to up her profile a little bit by directly confronting the most viable candidate from the Democratic Party. However, I think that in calling out Clinton for her closing remarks, Fiorina accidentally implied that she’s only relevant as a presidential candidate when she’s pitted against the only other female candidate in the race. Why stoop to the catfight angle, Carly?

2) Ted Cruz Attacked CNBC, Forgot To Answer A Moderator’s Question

Real smooth, Cruz. The Senator from Texas wasted his opportunity to answer a question posed to him by CNBC anchor Carl Quintanilla about his opposition to a budget deal that would raise the debt ceiling and prevent a government shutdown. Instead of responding to what he was asked, Cruz ranted about liberal bias in the media—then was cut off by the time he remembered the original question. Sure, he won points with his contenders on stage for voicing a common Republican sentiment, but as a voter, I have no idea what he has in mind to calm the country’s financial markets. Dumbass.

3) Lindsey Graham Made An Epic Crack On Bernie Sanders

Senator Graham from South Carolina had some of the best jokes and one liners I’ve heard from a candidate in a minute. Graham most famously said, “I’m tired of losing,” when asked if his policies were too liberal for his party affiliation. (You can’t knock him for being honest!) But the guy really took the cake when he made jabs at Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders by saying:

“Good God look who we’re running against,” Graham said. “The No. 1 candidate on the opposite side said she was flat broke after her and her husband were in the White House for eight years…the second guy went to the Soviet Union on his honeymoon and I don’t think he ever came back.” 

#Priceless. #MindBlown. #Dying.

4) Chris Christie Attacked Obama For Not ‘Supporting’ Cops

I swear, people would blame Obama for the fact that pigs can’t fly if they could. At one point in the debate, Christie cited comments from FBI Director James Comey noting the “Ferguson effect,” a theory that murder rates are rising because police officers are more afraid to exert their authority in the wake of the unrest after Michael Brown’s death.

Christie called Obama out for not speaking more heavily on the merit of the country’s law enforcement to support them amid the turbulence brought on during the Black Lives Matter movement. However, there’s a little problem with that theory: statistics reveal that it’s safer to work as a police officer now than in years past. If Christie was the least bit concerned about alienating Black voters with that bullshit critique against Obama, maybe he would be just as concerned about ensuring the safety of Black civilians as he was about the police officers that have constantly been killing innocent people.

5) Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina Jumped On The Obama Bashing Bandwagon

Of course, Christie was not the only one spewing weak jabs at the sitting president. Cruz pointed out that 3.7 million women entered poverty during Obama’s presidency and Fiorina stated that “every single policy under Barack Obama has been bad for women.” But that number Cruz threw out during his commentary is actually attributed to the country’s overall population growth. Plus, the larger trend of poverty in America shows that it’s in decline—so much so that the stats they cited probably won’t be accurate by the time we’re all headed to the polls by next November. Plus, I guess Fiorina decided to ignore the fact that women were one of the socioeconomic groups that benefited the most from Obama’s Affordable Care Act.

6) Ben Carson’s Flat Tax Rate Plan Was Shredded Apart By The Moderators

Issuing a flat tax rate across economic groups to replace the country’s current tax policies is a common stance among conservatives. However, Carson’s flat tax rate plan in particular got called out by the moderators as only increasing the country’s deficit. Carson tried to play down the holes in his strategy by saying his rate would be at 15 percent, and that he would cut government spending to balance out his tax plan. Then moderators rained on his parade again by pointing out that it would take a 40 percent reduction in government spending to pull it off. Good luck with that one, Carson…

7) Donald Trump Trolled Us All

As always, Trump made another reference to his incredibly racist and ridiculous plan to build a wall along the Mexican border to block undocumented immigrants from entering the country. But this time, he also spent time making fun of John Kasich for his dismal numbers in the polls, supposedly explaining Kasich’s awkward placement on the end of the speakers’ lineup on stage. Trump also attacked the CNBC moderators for their “nasty and ridiculous questions.” If that doesn’t say that he takes this presidential election seriously, I don’t know what does.

8) Carly Fiorina Got Called Out For Being Sponsored By A Classist

Ever heard of Tom Perkins? This uber rich venture capitalist has given $25,000 to Fiorina’s campaign. He’s also famous for making politically-incorrect comments like comparing Americans’ resentment towards wealthy people to the persecution of Jews in Nazi Germany. He’s also said that rich people should get more votes than poor people, because rich people pay more taxes. Fiorina didn’t recover too well from that one when one of the moderators referenced Perkins’ comments during the debate.

RELATED LINKS:

Carly Fiorina Surprises Us By Dominating Last Night’s GOP Debate

Republicans Fail To Defund Planned Parenthood

Ben Carson Won’t Admit President Obama Is A ‘Real Black President’ Either

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