Not all relationships occur within the same city, or even same state or country. Long distance love works for some, but many of us want to be close to our significant other. That requires one of you to move. Moving for a significant other is a big deal. And it’s one that you might have had to face or are currently experiencing right now. Now when you love someone enough to be willing to move your life for them, it is romantic. But my mama always said, wherever you take your heart to, bring your head with you.
I love love, I love grand gestures of love, but it’s also good to think about it before making big decisions like moving across the country. Here are a few things to consider before uprooting your entire life:
1. Do I like this city (or town)?
It’s probably in your best interest to like the place you’re going to be physically living. Now we all don’t have the freedom of movement to just up and leave a place when we get tired of it or simply don’t like it. But if you’re thinking of moving across the country for your boo, chances are you do have some sort of freedom of movement. Now as much as we all have to make sacrifices in a relationship, make sure you can at least stomach the place you might be going to.
2. What is my job situation when I get there?
In the world of modern technology, this is becoming less of an issue given the ability to work remotely. Still, not everyone has that option. And if you don’t, you need to be realistic about what your work options are where you’re going. Better still, it might be the best decision to do your diligence before you move. Still, the fundamental thing you need to be thinking about is that this move won’t cause any regression in your career.
3. Is this relationship where I need it to be, to make this decision?
If you’ve been in a long-distance relationship, for a while or for some time, it’s sometimes easy to think of the distance as the cause of any friction (rather than a symptom). That is worth reflecting upon. If your significant other moving might cause you to have to re-locate as well, reflect on where you want this relationship to go, and where you see it going. In the end, in these types of situation, both people should have to make some sort of sacrifice. Not just one person.
4. Am I comfortable with the distance from my family and friends?
Whatever your other relationships are with your other loved ones, you have to take them into consideration. If you have a grandparent or parent who is getting up in years or needs care, these are the things you have to think about it. The reality is you might have to start a new life away from your family and friends for your significant other. But be sure to be comfortable with how this will affect your other relationships. Now nobody needs other loved ones holding you back if this is the best decision you can make for your life right now. But you can’t exclude thinking about how this will affect your other relationships.
5. Will I resent my current boo if we don’t work out?
This is a tough one because it’s about the potential for things not to work out. Nobody likes to think about a relationship they’re in, not working out. Nobody wants to think about the potential for regretting something they’ve invested a lot of their time and self into. The thing is, most decisions in life are about weighing the options, calculating the risks, and considering all the outcomes. All this is to say is that if you’re thinking about moving across the country (or world) for a loved one, by all means do it. But make sure you’re also doing it for you, and not just for them. Make sure that you are fundamentally with the sacrifice, regardless of the outcome. Indeed, fortune favors the brave, as is often said. But wisdom rewards the prudent.