It’s 2015. Interracial dating should not give people the same anxiety, aggravation or disgust that it used to in the Jim Crow past. Technically laws invalidating interracial marriages were only prohibited in 1967 via the landmark Loving v. Virginia civil rights case. Yes, that’s only 48 years ago.
However, there’s a running joke or maybe even cultural commentary that suggests that Black women are often mad at Black men in interracial relationships. This stereotype has been reinforced through comedy, reiterated by some Black men themselves and used to further a certain tired and clichéd perception of Black woman as being angry, or being “unwanted” by “their own men.”
Well today I’m here to say: Stop the bullshit.
First of all, let’s get something straight: There are many Black men who “want us.” The division of the Black family–pitting Black men against Black women, is something that has existed since slavery and colonization. And while there are some men who refuse to date within their own race, there’s still plenty of Black men who will always give love to their sistas.
Moreover, there are many non-Black men who want us too. And certainly, Black women’s identity in the United States exists between dehumanization and oppression on one hand, and a racialized fetish on the other, but make no mistake about it – we are wanted.
Now if a Black man has decided that come hell or high water, he must be with a non-Black woman, that sounds like he has some serious internalized racism issues that he still has to deal with. (The same is true for Black women who feel like they must be with non-Black men.) To pretend that attraction, beauty and “our preferences” just exist in a vacuum is to be living in a fantasy land. They do not. Check yourself and free yourself from the shackles of the constructs of Whiteness. You will be so much better off and you will be able to authentically appreciate diversity, while not negating the experiences of people who look like you.
So to any Black men who think that Black women as a whole are mad at Black men who date outside of their race, newsflash: we’re not.
We, however, might have a problem with the fact that some Black men in interracial relationships become very anti-Black woman, which is sad because well, they are usually born of a Black woman. And to those men I say – and it’s something I saw on #BlackTwitter recently – “If you have something nasty to say about Black women, write it down on a piece of paper and give it your mama.” Bloop!
I’m going to need society to stop finding every corner of conversation to throw Black woman under the bus – be it our bodies, our struggles, our womanhood, etc. We are here, we’re thriving, and nobody is going to take that away from us. And on behalf of all the beautiful, brilliant and bright Black woman everywhere: We are so busy trying to get ours in every area of our lives to even notice Black men in interracial relationships.
SWIRLED: Our Favorite Black & White Celebs
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1. 1. Alicia Keys has an Italian mom and an African- American dad. (PR)
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2. 2. Actor Boris Kodjue’s father is Ghanaian and his mother German. (PR)
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3. 3. Athlete Lolo Jones birth mother is white and her dad is black. (PR)
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4. 4. “Criminal Minds” actor has a white mom and a black dad. (PR)
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5. 5. Rashida Jones, daughter of Quincy Jones, who is Black and mom, Peggy Lipton is White. (PR)
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6. 6. Singer Lenny Kravitz has a Black mom and a Caucasian-Jewish father. (PR)
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7. 7. Amber Rose has an Italian father and a Cape Verdean Mother. (PR)
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8. 8. Drake’s mother is Jewish-Canadian and his father is Black. (PR)
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9. 9. Jordin Sparks is bi-racial too. (PR)
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10. 10. J.Cole’s mother is caucasian and his dad is African- American. (PR)
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11. 11. Singer Mya’s father is Italian and her mother is Black. (PR)
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12. 12. NBA player Kris Humphries has a white mom and black dad. (PR)
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13. 13. Actress Halle berry’s mother is Causcasian and her father is Black. (PR)
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14. 14. President Barack Obama has a Kenyan father and a Caucasian mother. (AP)
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15. 15. Tracee Ellis Ross’ mom is the the legendary Diana Ross and her dad is white. (PR)
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16. 16. Derek Jeter has a black dad and white mother. (PR)
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17. 18. Actor Wentworth Miller is half White and Black. (AP)
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18. 17. Maya Rudolph has a black mother, Minnie Rippleton and a white father. (PR)
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19. 19. Actress Lauren London has a Black mom and a Caucasian- Jewish father. (PR)
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20. 20. Actor Vin Diesal is black and Italian but he has never met his biological father. (PR)
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21. 21. Singer Leona Lewis has white mom and black dad. (PR)
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22. 22. Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown’s mother is white and her dad is black. (PR)
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23. 23. Actor Jesse Williams has a Swedish mom and an African-American dad. (PR)
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24. 24. Twins actresses Tia Mowry-Hardict and Tamara Mowry-Housley are Black and Italian. (PR)
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25. 25. Singer Craig David has a grenadian dad and white-british mom. (PR)
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26. 26. Faith Evans has a black mother and an italian father, but the singer chooses not to claim her white ancestry. (PR)
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27. 27. The tall red-head Blake Griffin has a white mom and black dad. (PR)
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28. 28. Actress Tamara Taylor has a black father and a Scottish mother. (PR)