As we are about to mark World Suicide Prevention Day on September 10, the global suicide problem is only getting worse every year. One person dies by suicide every 40 seconds somewhere in the world, and global suicide rates have increased 60% in the past 45 years. In the United States alone, 42,773 people die each year by suicide, mostly white middle-aged males. (suicide.org)
Among common causes for suicide is mental illness that could range from anxiety to depression, traumatic experiences – including PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) – bullying, social isolation, unemployment, eating disorders, relationship problems or financial issues.
Most of the causes are serious, and need to be urgently treated by professionals. Some suicide reasons, however, such as betrayal of a lover or a loss of a job, are situational difficulties that would pass with time. People still feel trapped and unable to cope with their situation.
Alex Monaco, who is a bestselling author, a motivational coach and a “challenger of life,” is constantly interested in how people’s beliefs influence their life. He has created a motivational online course,Onbotraining, that won MIT’s Global Entrepreneurship Bootcamp Challenge Award. After leading seminars on life’s success and training people to find their purpose, he believes that many suicides could be prevented, namely those that happen because people have convinced themselves that their life is hopeless.
So what should one do not to feel trapped? What if you are broke, left by the love of your life, fired from work, bullied in school? Is there hope that you can get back on your feet, simply through your own effort and determination?
Alex Monaco looks at several different situations that can make people feel hopeless, and explains why any hopeless situation always has seeds of hope.
1. What if you are left by the love of your life
You have to realize that the other person doesn’t belong to you – they have a free will to choose. “But Alex, I did so much for that person, and she left me,” says an upset lover. Do you really think that another person belongs to you? Answer, what did you do for her? Did you fly to the moon? Did you invest 1,300 days to learn the art of being charming? Have a flower plantation planted for her? Do you still think you gave them more than others? So the first step is to realize that you don’t own the other person, they have a free will. Secondly, if you say you cannot live without another person that means you don’t know how to love yourself. People don’t know how to be happy by themselves, because they didn’t dedicate any time to self-love. There are not many teachers who can help us, so we have to struggle trying to figure this out for ourselves. I figured it out for myself. Later, after having met a lot of interesting people, I learned a way how to learn self love much faster – so I started working on a training course that radically changes our pattern of thinking in 30 days.
2. What if you are fired from work, in a bad economy, without much savings in your bank account.
This is a serious problem, but many unemployed people don’t take it seriously, as their actions show. Many times, I have seen people, who are currently in debt, suspend their time complaining to their friends about a bad life, and when they are tired (complaining takes a lot of energy), they will have another beer and repost a fun video on YouTube. These people like to have fun, but they don’t like to work. They also love to complain. My company exists for 8 years, and I have interviewed many people who want to work here. However, during the interview most of them sit down in a chair and wait for me to start asking questions. Only one of them really wanted the job, and said: “I will invest all my time to make sure your company prospers. I need this job.” He was also prepared to tell me the weaknesses of my company, and that he would help me solve them. I decided to hire this person, even though he didn’t have the relevant diploma nor work experience. Many people find excuses in their lack of certain knowledge, education, or experience, but I only hire those who like learning and who keep their word. I think people commit suicides not because they are unemployed, but because of how they think. The first step is to change your thinking.
3. What if you don’t feel handsome/ beautiful.
Some people are convinced that their popularity or achievements in life and business depend from their appearance. They lack self-confidence and are afraid to even go to job interviews. In order to prove that appearance doesn’t have much influence, I created a project with a purpose to make people notice you because of who you are, not how you look. I have created a secret name for myself and started a Facebook fan page, where I never showed my face – all my pictures had my face hidden, turned or cut off. After having collected thousands of fans, I started writing a book, called “Happy Bastards” (Laimingi Sunsnukiai). The book became a bestseller, even though people didn’t how I looked. Therefore, I managed to create an environment, in which people value your mind, not your appearance. There are, however, many people that advertise their faces and want to be valued for their looks. Models, young people believe that their value is in their appearance, measuring their life, their values and their friends though a materialistic lens. This “happiness” is short lived, as it lacks a core essence. Always focus on who you are. not how you look.
4. What if you don’t have any friends and feel lonely and socially isolated.
Many people think that they are lonely, but in fact they do have people who care about them – they just forget to visit their parents, aunts or brothers. People are upset because they are not invited somewhere, but they forget to invite. They are waiting for initiative from others. Those who feel really lonely and want to climb out of their isolation, should do the opposite of what they have been doing so far – to become the inspirer. If you are not a part of a club you’d like to be in, start your own club!
5. What if you are bullied at school.
I was bullied in school. I was beaten, insulted and this was going on till the end of my school years. I wanted to die. I was not invited to class meetings for many years. But one day everything changed – after everyone found out that I became a successful businessman working with Olympians and a motivator followed by thousands of fans, they started to call me. The people from my school never really knew me, and they still don’t know me. They value my worth superficially, from what they have heard about me. But I don’t need to be valued, I am not for sale. The person who is reading this article is not for sale either, and he shouldn’t care about others evaluating him based on their criteria of distorted values. Many successful people achieved something namely because they were bullied, through learning how to resist and to bring their strength forward. You can do it, too.