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I’m up here sellin’, so why ain’t nobody buyin’?

So here’s what I figure is the basic takeaway – or one of them – from the ongoing Repeal-Obamacare-Right-Now-Well Maybe-Not-Hold-Up-Damn-Nevermind disaster that we see unfolding before us: the Republicans had eight years to actually design an alternative to Obamacare. Two Obama terms. But instead, what they decided to do was to keep voting to repeal it, knowing that President Barack Obama would veto their craziness, so that they could vote to repeal it again, so Obama could veto the craziness, so they could…

Anyway. Rather than taking any one of those days during those long eight years to actually devise what they believed to be a workable alternative health care plan, the Republicans just kept yapping and yipping, making a lot of annoying noise but accomplishing nothing. I dunno, maybe because it was more fun to shout at Obama for eight years and give him the finger than to actually get something done. Or maybe because they didn’t ever think they would actually have to deliver on their promise to (no, not repeal Obamacare) come up with something better. Because obviously, at least I kinda thought it was obvious, if you’re gonna repeal something like the entire health care system, then you should probably have a backup plan.

Yeah. Like I said. I thought it was obvious. But obviously some of us are a little slower than others.

So when Agent Orange actually made it into the office, which is something else they weren’t anticipating, then suddenly they were faced with the terrifying prospect of hastily throwing something together and then calling it health care so they could pretend like they have seriously been contemplating these issues for all those years.

Except that they hadn’t, and the shoddy piece of —- that the Republicans tried to slip by Congress is now wheezing on life support like those sickly patients they wanted to abandon because it turns out the scathing report from the non-partisan Congressional Budget Office basically served as a lit match to be tossed between the empty pages of the American Health Care Act. It’s a long report, but you can summarize the findings real quick in the following way: This shit is crazy.

So even Trump’s last minute rallying tweeted pleas to his ever-shrinking legions didn’t have the desired effect. Nor did his so-called threats to Republican lawmakers who refused to merrily jump aboard his sinking ship. Because, with a less than 40 percent approval rating? You gonna threaten who?

Yeah. And we’re only 3 months in, you guys. Be sure to grab your popcorn during the next commercial.

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