In a recent conversation with a friend of mine, she was citing to me her top “3″ list, and she said “AJ, my man had to have a good personality, treat me well and like sports. I then asked her something that I think has put her on the path of finding a good mate. I asked her; “What is your definition of good personality? How does someone treat you well?” I closed with telling her that beyond him liking sports, there was nothing specific to her list.

In fact, the reason that she was drifting from relationship to relationship, was that although she had a list of attributes, those attributes did not define what she was looking for, she needed to go back to the drawing board to determine what she really needed prior to taking on another date.

That conversation defined what I like to call “The Jesus List.” Often as women, we have a laundry list of qualities (some unrealistic) that we are looking for in a relationship, that’s if we have a list at all.

I must commend my friend for at least having a list; however, there are many women out there looking for “THE ONE” with no map at all. I mean, women come on, even Jay-Z has the “The Blueprint III” which in essence maps from song to song, how he and the events of his life led him to that status of where he is.

Often it is said that if you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything. Here lies the fate of single women, lack of self-reflection and clear understanding of what wants and needs is the cause for many heartbreaks, wasted time and energy. READ MORE

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