Anal sex can be a touchy and a sometimes embarrassing topic. There is stigma attached along with countless misconceptions. In reality, anal sex is nothing new and people experience it everyday. So whether you are into anal or not, here are some commonly asked questions that might help you decide if you want to experiment or, at least, not shame others who do I enjoy some backdoor action.
1. How common is anal sex?
According to a report from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 36 percent of women and 42 percent of men have tried anal sex. There is still continuing research on the varying gender identities and sexual orientations involved in anal sex but, the point is, folks are doing it. Therefore, if it’s something you enjoy or want to try, there’s no need to be ashamed. Just make sure to have a conversation with your sexual partner and do the research like you’re doing now.
2. If I’m a straight guy who likes anal play, does that make me gay?
Nope. Anyone can enjoy anal play, no matter your orientation. If you’re comfortable wiith your sexuality and stay in conversation with your partner, anal play is yours to love. Your anus has several nerve endings so anal play could be a key to unlocking pleasure. And if you have a prostate that can be reached, a whole new world of bliss is waiting for you.
3. Does it hurt?
The best things in life take time. In this instance, anal sex requires a little bit of patience. If you’re in a hurry to pleasureville, especially if you are the receiver, expect some pain. But if you want to have a great experience, be sure to constantly communicate with your partner, use lots of lube, breathe, and if things get too unbearable, it’s always okay to say, “Stop.” In any instances, there’s always a chance of pain, but if you take things slow and easy, discomfort can be minimal.
4. Is there a way to practice before showtime?
Getting comfortable with your derriere is always useful before you dive into anal sex. Simply massaging and sticking your finger into your anus is a nice start. If you have the budget, sex toys are even better. Just be sure to do your research, make sure the toy is clean, safe and compatible with whatever lubricant you’re using (silicone lube can damage some silicone toys).
5. If I’m “bottoming,” how important is cleaning down there?
Let’s keep it 100%. We’re talking ass play here. There’s always a risk of things getting messy. But cleanliness can definitely be next to godliness if you can control it. Giving your ass a good washing is a great start. If you want to go a step further, you can also use an enema and lukewarm water. Just follow the item instructions carefully and before any of this, make sure you have a good bowel movement. For more info on how to clean yourself out, click here.
6. If I want to avoid an “accident” how long should I refrain from eating before anal sex?
Various scientific research suggests that the time it takes your body to digest food, from eating to elimination, can vary for each person. A 1980s study of 21 healthy people showed an average digestion time of 53 hours. But if you plan on waiting 53 hours to make sure all your insides are clean, maybe anal sex isn’t for you. Not eating at least eight hours before anal sex is another number to throw, which might be doable for some and torture for others. At the end of the day, know your own body and how it digests certain foods. Eating lots of fiber can help your body process food quicker. But again, this is anal play. There’s always a chance of things getting a little messy. The quicker you come to that reality and plan accordingly, the less stressful sex can be.
7. If I’m topping, should I be prepping in any way?
Yup! Don’t think just because you’re topping all you have to do is stick it in and the receiving partner will moan in ecstasy. You should always listen to your partner and sometimes that means recognizing body language if you’re moving too fast. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Making your partner comfortable is crucial, which could make for a great time in foreplay. Massages, light ass taps, licking a clean anus (“eat the booty like groceries” in the words of Jhené Aiko), and discussing protection and risks beforehand can make for safe, clean fun.
Remember, there should be no stigma with anal sex. Like any form of sex, it’s healthy and normal, as long as you play smart.